Forgiveness is an intentional, voluntary decision to let go of resentment, bitterness, and the desire for revenge toward someone who has harmed you.
What Forgiveness Is Not
- Not forgetting: You may still remember the painful event, but it loses its emotional power over you.
- Not excusing: It does not mean the bad behavior was acceptable.
- Not reconciliation: You do not have to rebuild a relationship or trust the person again.
Learn more about these distinctions in the official APA Guidelines on Forgiveness.
Health and Mental Benefits
- Lowers stress: Letting go of grudges drops your heart rate and blood pressure.
- Improves mood: It helps reduce anxiety, depression, and anger.
- Boosts immunity: Releasing chronic stress stops the wear and tear on your body.
How to Practice Forgiveness
- Acknowledge the pain: Face your anger and identify who hurt you.
- Make a choice: Decide that you want peace more than payback.
- Shift your perspective: Try to see the other person as a flawed human being.
- Release the emotion: Let go of the control the past has on your present life.